DAVID, 3

I was telling my son that when he gets older, he will have to cook for himself. He responded, “So I get to push the microwave buttons?” Laura Houston; Eugene, OR

MADISON, 2

One morning I found my daughter pouring all the pennies from her piggy bank into the sink. When I asked what in the world made her do that, she responded, “I heard you tell Daddy you’re tired of pouring money down the drain. I wanted to see how much would fit down ours.” Caitlin Renee; Seaford, DE

SKYE, 9

My son accompanied me to a convenience store; a sign posted there said, “No shoes, no shirt, no service.” Skye read this and asked, “What about no pants? So we can go in with no pants?” Mai Ka Xiong; Milwaukee, WI

ARABELLE, 3

During a coffee date with my neighbor, my daughter shared that I had a lot of private time. I told my neighbor that I didn’t have nearly enough; then Arabelle interjected, “Yes you do! I heard you and Daddy last night!” Jessica Shannon; Cheyenne, WY

ZANE, 5

As I was feeding my newborn from a bottle, my son asked, “What are you giving her? Rest milk?” I replied that it was called breast milk, and he quickly popped back, “No, it’s REST milk. That’s why it makes her go to sleep.” Amy Henderson; Greenville, MS

CLAIRE, 3

My daughter asked for a snack, so I asked what she wanted. She responded, “Damn crackers!” It wasn’t until she said, “You know, you dip them in milk?” that I realized she meant graham crackers. Amanda Rivera; West Wendover, NV